New year is just around the corner. Some of us think about how to survive Christmas work parties and family dinners, while others are already planning for 2024. How to start the new year right and…Finally achieve that dream weight, fit in that summer dress next season and look confident in the pictures.
Let me share with you what was a real game changer on my health journey. It will help you not only with losing weight once for good but will help you with anything else in life.
How come we keep falling into the same traps
The biggest problem many people face is that we start something and as soon as we get close to it or achieve it…we sabotage it. Why does this happen, and more importantly, how can we break this cycle?
At the heart of this dilemma lies a fundamental truth: our emotions that drive our behaviours, actions, and ultimately our results. Understanding this can be the key to unlocking a healthier you. More importantly, breaking the cycle of setting goals but not achieving them and making the lasting change.
Why weight loss diet plans simply don’t work
If we focus solely on the goal without considering our emotional state, there is a LIMIT to how far we can get, relying only on willpower and discipline. That’s why I don’t really believe in diets as a way to lose weight. We power through the plan to hit the dream number on the scale without addressing what caused the weight gain in the first place or what makes us crave wrong foods. So let’s focus on the latter today.
If you are interested more in what is causing weight gain you can read my another post about “The Missing Piece to Lasting Weight Loss & Perfect Body” here
Are your emotions sabotaging your weight loss?
I used to get triggered very easily. Strong emotional reaction to small things or anything that didn’t go according to my plan or my expectations of ‘how others should be’.
- A colleague at work asking me for a small favour when I was about to leave,
- my friend that didn’t call me or
- my boyfriend that didn’t offer help when I was expecting it.
Anything was making me feel like a volcano that was about to erupt but it didn’t…I didn’t want to show that I was upset or angry so I was suppressing it and suppressing it. It didn’t end up well.
This not only affected my mental health but also manifested physically — an under-active thyroid and hormonal acne were my silent battles that I couldnt figure out for a long time. You may be surprised but big factor in difficulties in losing weight and developing health symptoms is stress and suppressed emotions. Both cause inflammation and mess up with our hormones and the whole body. So let’s get back to why we sabotage our goals and how to finally end it.
The Cycle of Self-Sabotage
Here is what happens. We have new goals, we have vision, we want to be better, look better and feel better. So we start with a new weight loss plan or workout routine. We start well but as soon as we reach the first milestone or life gets in a way we do all the things we shouldn’t be doing. We are slowly getting back to our ‘old self’ completely forgetting about our goals and the ‘new me’. Life is not perfect, there always will be something that will get in our way and there always will be something or someone that will trigger and upset us.
The question is, do we want to wait for perfect circumstances (that 99% chances will never happen) or do we want to learn how to regulate our emotions, overcome those challenges and stick to our goals?
Self sabotage is a form or protection
When we feel overwhelmed, angry or upset we want to feel better. Our instinct is to seek comfort. So what we do is to reach out for the wrong foods, a glass of wine or just spend the rest of the night watching TV with a pack of crisps. Before we realise, we do something AGAINST our weight loss goals again…Feeling disappointed with ourselves and we just want to give up as we feel as we FAILED again. We forget about our goals and what we wanted as now…we just want to feel good again.
Moreover when we feel bad, everything feels like extra challenge. We need twice as much effort and energy to do what we know we should be doing. It feel more like a duty rather than a task that brings fulfilment.
It’s a vicious cycle — emotional distress leading to unhealthy coping mechanisms, followed by guilt and a sense of “I can’t do it”.
That’s why emotional regulation and how we feel is so important not only in terms of health and weight loss but anything really. In simple terms, when we feel good, we make better choices and everything is easier and more enjoyable: cooking, exercising, etc. When we are in a good mood we can do more without much effort.
Breaking the Cycle: A Step-by-Step Guide
If you are serious about weight loss this year and If you are tired of sabotaging your goals, here is what to do. Broadly speaking, to end that vicious cycle we need to build self-awareness but…you may wonder what does it actually mean and how this is actually going to help you.
We all need to start somewhere so I’m going to share with you few steps that are great start and you can apply it next time you feel overwhelmed or angry or any other emotions that is trying to hijack you and your goals.
HERE IS WHAT TO DO:
- Pause and take a deep breath. Practising the ‘pause ‘ is one of the most powerful practices as it teaches you to think before reacting and this is where the transformation starts. Instead of reacting you are taking on an opportunity to make a conscious decision how you want to react. By taking a pause, you also become more aware of the consequences before rather than ‘after’.
- Acknowledge it. Simply say to yourself, “I’m having an emotional reaction.”
- Label Your Emotions. Identify and name what you’re feeling. It sounds simply but saying it can actually calm you down as you are letting your brain know that you are in control of the situation and it doesn’t have to rescue you. Self-sabotage in other words is your brain’s coping mechanism.
- Get it out. Write down on a piece of paper or on your phone what thoughts are coming up and whats going on in your head. If you can, communicate that with someone.
- The Story. Ask yourself what is the INTERPRETATION of the situation with kindness and compassion towards yourself.
It’s a process so be patient!
Quite often our reaction is not about the situation itself but THE STORY we tell ourselves about the circumstances. By changing these narratives, we can change our responses.
Emotional Mastery. The Key to a Lasting Weight Loss and Fulfilled Life
Achieving emotional mastery is crucial, not just for weight loss, but for any aspect of life. If you only focus on tasks without considering your emotional state, you’ll hit a limit. Willpower and discipline can only take you so far. It’s 100% possible to feel more calm and less stressed no matter of the life situations and people. The thing is that we can’t change the world around us. What we can do is change our reactions. Emotional mastery is the key to achieve not only dream weight but anything in LIFE!
If you want to start 2024 strong , write down your goals but prioritse understanding and mastering your emotions as that will help you achieve your goals faster and in a more enjoyable way:) Emotional mastery is the foundation upon which we can build not only our dream body but also a life of fulfillment and joy.